The Spawn of Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise and his in-house slave, Katie Holmes, are getting ready to have their inevitably screwed up child. Since Tom and Katie are both Scientologists, the birth will be silent. The idea is to not traumatize the child, since hearing a little yelling, maybe screaming, is so much worse than being pushed and pulled through a vagina! Also, Tom has given in and will allow Katie to use an epidural to help control pain. Shouldn't she have been making that choice in the first place? Someone should stick a Cabbage Patch doll up Tom's ass and ask him if he wants some painkillers.

May Hubbard help him...